Rockin’ the mom bun and yoga pants
My Kids Would NEVER do That!
Before I became a mom and momtreprenuer, I had it in my mind how my perfect life was going to be. I was going to have the clean house, always up and ready coifed to perfection (NOT wearing yoga pants everyday), my kids were going to be angels that picked up after themselves and never talked back. My kids would never be the ones to throw temper tantrums in the stores, would never do a 5 finger discount, and they would always say “Yes Ma’am” and “No Ma’am”. I would have a delicious home cooked dinner on the table each night, my children would love all my dishes, and would help clean up. We would have baths, read books every night, and go to sleep without fighting. Then I would go have in depth intelligent conversations with my spouse and be asleep by ten. Score – ZERO!
How do we create these utopian lives when I know no one who had been able to pull this off? How do we even come up with these crazy fantasies? And why on earth did I ever think mine will be different? It is because we are all delusional!
For a while, I did feel like a totally loser mom. My girls started kindergarten and I lost who I was supposed to be since my play mates were gone. I gained weight, could not find a routine that worked, felt like I was never doing enough and really had little encouragement from my family. It is hard living in a house where everyone takes advantage and since you are the mom, you have to be everything to everyone.
I fell into a depression and the only thing I could motivate myself to do while the girls were in school was play solitaire. It was mindless and when I would win, it gave me a victory rush that I must have needed. The hours between 8 and 2 were empty. I was either over volunteering at the school or lost at my house. Because I was so unhappy, I could not even motivate myself to declutter or do much productive. I have heard that when you are not happy at home, your house falls apart. It was true.
Fast forward a year. I found my makeup business (Join me!) and it gave me something for ME! I started it without even telling my husband because I did not want any negativity that I had when I was going to start something else. It is primarily online so it does not take away from my family and I can work at my pace. I was slow to start because I had lost confidence in me. I had forgot who I was and what I am capable of doing. My goodness! I have 2 degrees and was successful before I stayed home with my girls! I really needed something to remind me of how wonderful I can be!
My New Reality
My girls are now 8 years old. They are fun loving, crazy, smart, and just your typical kids! To me, they are the most special people on the planet because they are mine. Unless it is something I cooked that tastes just like how “MoMo” makes it, they complain. My house is perpetually a mess. Yes, they are normal kids who hate picking up and try to talk back to me. I have gotten better at decluttering and not letting things pile up to badly. But I still would not want the Queen to show up without notice. I am lucky to get a shower most days. But you know what??? I ROCK a mom bun and yoga pants!
It is hard to reinvent yourself. But, as women, there just are times when we need to do it. It is so easy to get into a rut of everyday living and forget that WE are just as important as our family members. When WE are tired, out of energy, sad, or in a rut, our families suffer. It is just the way it is. For me, it is so important for me to fine ME time and take care of myself.
There are several ways I try to do this. I go to bed at 9:00, read for a bit, asleep before 10. I try to get up before everyone else in the morning to get myself prepared for the day. Have dinner with my girlfriends a couple of times per month. I try to work out several times a week. And most important, take the time I need to make sure I am ok. By doing this, I am a better mom and family member.