Word of the year? What is that?
How many readers do a word for the year or even know why this is even a thing? Word of the year? Just one? Is this some new mantra, a gimmick, a new way to channel your inner self? In a nutshell – yes! I actually did my first one last year and was pleasantly surprised on the outcome! Here is the background to how I came to learn the power of word of the year.
I am in a small business coaching group called the Elite Suite. More info can be found here (Elite Suite). This group coaches direct sales and small companies on how to better themselves and sell in a more professional manner. Last year, this group introduced me to the word of the year. The word is not a flippant word or a word that just pops into your head. This word takes some serious thought and introspection. It is the one word you are going to focus on to make great change in your life.
2018 word – Worthy
At the end of 2017, I was in a good place but not a great one. I took an inventory of myself and concluded that one of the personal issues I have that held me back is that I didn’t feel like I deserved many of the wonderful things that I have in my life. During 2017, I subconsciously sabotaged so many things that could have turned into positives in my life. So, in 2018, I chose the word “Worthy”. Throughout the year, when I would sink into my old patterns or ways of thinking, I would look at the first page in my planner and see my word. I renamed myself in my phone to “Lisa the Worthy” as a constant reminder. That, along with my self development reading (learn more here), was very impactful in making a mindset change.
Now, let’s fast forward to the end of 2018. I spend a good chunk of time reflecting on my year. I did have some great breakthroughs in my constant struggle of feeling like I deserve the goodness in my life. In spite of that, I have not accomplished very many of my personal goals for this year. What I concluded is that I put myself last way too much.
How my word came to light
My job primarily a stay at home mom. I am not the mom who hangs out at the country club or lunches with the ladies daily (my sister informed me that I was not doing the stay at home mom things right.) Over the last year, I have bitten off quite a bit that keeps me more than busy. I am the PTA president, power volunteer at the school, I run several small businesses from home, and CEO of our home. I think my life would somewhat be easier if I had an actual full-time job. But here is the catch… my businesses have not been as successful this year as they should have been. I feel like I am behind the 8 ball on all the things I want for my life.
Want to know why? Because I put my goals and dreams last. I don’t put me first – EVER! While I love volunteering at my kids’ school, there are times when I say yes to them instead of doing the customer follow ups I had scheduled for that time frame. I have time blocked my schedule and my husband will want something (non-urgent) and I will put my plans on hold to do what he needs. Not just him, my kids – oh my! I am working on patience with them because I have trained them that when they need something, I do it before I finish what I am doing! That last one is totally on me!
My example to my family
I have twin 9 year old girls. Over the past year, I have heard them say to me thing like I am never getting married because I don’t want someone telling me what to do; I am never having kids because I have to stop doing what I want; and a few other comments I can’t remember off the top of my head. None of them are positive. I did not understand why both of them thought this way when I really enjoy being a stay at home mom.
This really got me thinking. I had my girls at almost 40. Before that, I earned two college degrees, was very successful in my careers, and stopped working outside the home by choice. However, because of our family dynamics, they see me as the household help instead of the equal in our family. This is not the example that I want to have my girls see. In my mind, I don’t mind sacrificing for my family, but NOT in this way. I want them to see me being a stay at home mom as a positive choice I made for our family, not because I gave up who I am as a person.
I do not care if you are a working mom or a stay at home mom. Both have their plusses and minuses. That being said Ladies… we are worth so much more than we give ourselves credit for. Since my eyes have been opened to how my girls see me, I now realize that the 100% self-sacrificing that so many of us do is not working. It is so important that our sons and daughters see their mothers as real people and not just the servants that we sometimes make ourselves out to be.
On the surface, my 2019 word sounds quite selfish. I don’t care! My word for 2019 is ME!! YES – ME!!! What? ME! Really? YES!! ME! ME! I am so excited about this word!!! This does not mean that I am going to stop all my volunteering or being a devoted member of my household. This just means that I am going to do more for ME this year! It is so important!
Women are nurtures by nature, but we MUST look out for ourselves at the same time. I think it is better for our families to see us living our best lives, having balance between family and career, and letting them know that being a mom does not make us door mats but women of strength. I mean really, let see a man try and go through labor!!!
You will find that I will have the word ME on so many things this year. The front page of my day planner, on my computer, on little secret notes around the house, and who knows where else. I am not going to become a self-centered narcissist from this word but instead know that I will be better in all the other roles I play if I do put ME first! What I have come to realize, if I do not care for myself, then no one else will either. My mother said it best when she brought to my attention that when there is an emergency on an airplane, you must put on your mask first before helping others. This embraces my word… ME.
Let me hear what your word of the year! We can all be inspired by each other and truly build each other up by sharing and caring.